Friday, August 17, 2012

Want vs. Need

Photo Credit: Coolest Gadgets

"Do you want it or do you need it?"

I hate it when my boyfriend says this to me.  I feel like a little child been lectured by my dad who's asking me a rhetorical question. I always try to put up a fight that I never win in response to this question that really isn't a question.  Yet, I must agree, he is right.

When I buy new clothes, my boyfriend usually shakes his head and tells me I have enough and that I have so much that I have no room to put it.

I try to explain to him by saying,"Well, I need it!  It goes with my new shoes that doesn't match anything else and it's super cheap.."

I think he zones out after I'm half way through the second sentence.  I don't blame him.

I don't need most of the things I buy.  I just want it and I try to make myself feel better about the purchase by saying I need to have it.  It's like I'm playing mind games with myself!

A few months ago, my boyfriend gave me a challenge.  I could not buy clothes for four months.  In front of him, I tried to act like I was strong...four months, please I could do that! But, of course, secretly I was struggling to stop myself from buying.  He knew it too and would smile in front of me, telling me I would not make it.  I did though, but only because I simply skipped going to clothing stores and avoided online merchants (which also meant unsubscribing to store emails).  When my four month deadline was up, I gloated in front of my boyfriend.  He admitted that he was shocked I was able to make it that far. I was happy then for some reason.  Possibly because I was so proud of myself.

However, with the deadline over, I went back to my old habit.  It started out slowly, but then proceeded to go back closely to my usually rate of clothes shopping.  I noticed this and actually got really scared.  What had I learned?  Nothing it had seemed.

I hated wanting things!  I decided then that my new plan of attack was to curb my spending through budgeting.  Yes, I started to see the light then! I kept track of how much I could or couldn't spend, along with how much I planned to save up.  I've always saved money, but putting a number down made it more real to me.  This all limited my spending, but it didn't really stop me from buying clothes.  In the end, I had to think about what my boyfriend said to me, "Do you want it or do you need it?"

Looking at a shirt I saw while back-to-school shopping with my brother, I thought about that question again as I held this sparkly black dress in clearance.  The dress was cheap, fit me well, and I could possibly use it in the future...like every other dress I have bought.  But, did I need it?  No, I'm simply wanted it. So, off it went back onto the rack.  As I left the store that day, I found myself smiling because for the first time in a long time my purse never felt as heavy as it did then.

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