Dreaming

 Photo Credit: AnnaWrites

I love dreaming.

Sometimes my dreams frighten me.  I wake up in sweat or jump up with a jolt as my heart pounds madly.  Other times, I wake up shouting at nothing in particular, a feeling of anger rushing through me, but then settling down as I realize I've just woken up.  I hate these types of dreams, and if I had more control over them, I would never have any.

I also have dreams that make me reflect upon my life.  Dreams that remind me of the positive and negative aspects of my personality to the extreme.  Ones that make me wonder if I'm sending myself subliminal messages that I've chosen to ignore when I'm awake.

Then there are the dreams that make me happy.  The ones that make me wish I did not have to wake up.  A dream where I can do whatever I wish and nothing I attempt can ever be wrong.  Everything I desire is within my grasp and there's no sense of loneliness or anger. My knight in shinning armor, oh he's there.  Perfect as can be.

However, the best part of dreaming is that it's not real. Each night I get to go to sleep to dream of different dreams, experience things I may have already done so in real life or tried something new I will never be able to attempt in reality.  It's where I can go jump off a cliff and still wake up intact. Most importantly, I can choose to go in and out of sleep and not have to worry about how my dreams will affect me in reality.  Dreams are where anything can happen.  Nothing is too big or small or impossible.  In fact, it's a place I go to each night to escape and piece myself together.  It keeps me sane.

And I guess that's why I love to dream.  

Book: The Boy In The Stripped Pyjamas

Setting: 1942 in Berlin, Germany during World War II.
Category: Holocaust
Age Level: Middle school and up
Main character: Bruno, a naive 9-year-old German boy who comes from a well-off family.
Plot: Bruno has a privileged life. He lives in a large house in Berlin and has servants to tend to his every need.  Despite all this wealth, Bruno does not really understand where it all comes from.  In fact, he doesn't really know what his father does for a living, only that he is apparently an important person. One day, the Fury (Hitler) makes a visit to the family, where his father is promoted and becomes a Commandant. Before Bruno knows it, his whole family packs up and leaves to go live in Out-With in Poland.  Bruno hates the move and yearns to come back home to be with his friends.  There's nothing at Out-With, except the dirty looking people in stripped pajamas who are enclosed behind a fence.  One day, Bruno goes on an exploration mission outside and he meets a Jewish boy by the name of Shmuel, who lives behind the fence.  They become fast friends and Bruno often tries to visit him secretly, bringing along food for Shmuel to eat. This friendship strikes Bruno as particularly different because he has never had a friend he could never touch.  Hence, the friend represents the stark contrast between the life of Shmuel and Bruno, boys who are the same age, yet live completely opposite lives.

Written by John Boyne, an Irish novelist, The Boy in the Stripped Pyjamas is a fictional book that describes events through the eyes of a child named Bruno. Therefore, everything that the reader knows is only what Bruno sees or comes to understand. As a result, the war and the atrocity of the Holocaust is viewed in a naive manner, making the story innocent, yet somewhat sad.  The ending of the novel in my opinion brings the story around full circle and gives the book a bit more substance.

I think The Boy in the Stripped Pyjamas would be a good read for young readers because I think Bruno's callowness would be something they could relate to, as they themselves are not yet adults and are learning about the world just as he is. The book does not give too much historical information and it follows a straightforward way of storytelling. Is the plot believable or historically accurate? To be honest, no.  I doubt a German and Jewish boy can meet up so often to talk to one another without anyone finding out.  I doubt the ending could ever happen and I doubt actually quite a few other things.  Yet, I do have to remind myself that is what happens when you write a piece of fiction.  You use your imagination to write a story, and you just go with whatever pops in your head.

The Boy in the Stripped Pyjamas isn't one of my favorite reads, but I can understand why people loved reading this book and I can also see why some people disliked it.  Perhaps I would have enjoyed this reading a bit more had I not read The Book Thief (which similarly is set in Germany during World War II) prior to this reading this novel. Where The Boy in the Stripped Pyjamas lacks, is where The Book Thief prevails.

Can I Have Your Job Please?

Photo Credit: Archengine

Every workday, I pass by this tiny flower kiosk near the escalator on my way out of the train station.   It's small, enough to fit a few people inside. There's a back door that leads to a storage area for the flowers.  Three sides with three shelves lined with flowers, bouquet style and in pots.  Each has a little stick with a price tag hanging off of it, handwritten in marker. The flowers vary in color, some seem exotic, whereas others are simple plants that you would typically find on an office desk.

Every morning, a husband and wife are busy unloading the flowers and placing them on the shelves.  The husband usually pulls the new flowers for the week on a large cart, opening the side door, where his wife comes out to help him take them into the storage room or place them on one of the shelves. Strangely enough, the small flower kiosk is located next to a busy cellphone stand, which is also next to some fast food restaurants.  It seems out of place, the flowers, the married couple next to the oily food, but somehow it all works out.

Is it crazy to say I wish I had their job?  That I wish I could wake up every morning and go to work with my husband to sell flowers?  I love the simplicity of it all.  To get to talk to people,  sell them a plant they will either keep for themselves or give to someone else as a present. To be surrounded by life, something that is growing and makes it seem like it is summer or spring, even during the winter time. The vivid colors of red, blue, yellow, pink, purple, and orange and the smell of nature, which makes me reminisce of the times I used to forge through the forest preserve with my friends on make believe adventures.  And of course, to be with someone you love every day.

I've spend many years wanting a dream job and wondering what my idea of a dream job actually was. Does such a job exist? To be honest, I don't really know. What I have learned is that I don't need a job that will make me rich. I just want a job that makes me happy and allows me to enjoy the little things in life.

Just Because You're An Adult, It Doesn't Mean That...

 Photo Credit: sodahead.com

You don't get pimples.
Sure, you get less because you're no longer going through puberty, but you'll still get them.  In fact, my 40-something-year-old former coworker can attest to that.  He came into work one morning and and said, "I woke up this morning and BAM! I see this!"  He then pointed his finger at the top center of his forehead.  "It's not that big," I said as I continued to stare at his pimple. In fact, it was not big at all...it was gigantic.  It took two whole weeks for that thing to disappear and two weeks of me reminding him he shouldn't pop it.

You're always right.
Adults are human too!  They make mistakes and their opinions and thoughts are shaped by the same things as kids-- experience and information learned from others.  For example, teachers tend to be knowledgeable about what they are teaching in school because they have taught a particular subject matter for years and have also spent years in school learning about how to do this.  But, they don't know everything nor can they solve or answer every question you might have.  When I was in high school, one of my classmates corrected my teacher on a math problem she did in class.  In the beginning, she did not admit she was wrong, but after solving the problem again, she realized he was right. 

You're experienced.
What does this mean?  Experience can be anything, from say, going to a club or bar and drinking alcohol, all of which I've never done myself.  I know of some adults who have never been in a relationship before either. Basically, adults can be just as naive sometimes as kids.  They can be scammed by a con artist or they can lack understanding of such things as other cultures.

You're responsible.
Think of this: DUIs, child abuse, arriving at work late, and being in debt due to overspending. Do the recent foreclosures ring a bell?  Adults are the main culprits behind these things.

You're old-fashion. 
So adults might not be super hip or with the current times, but you would be surprised by how many can name a few song titles off of Justin Bieber's album.  Most at least know he exists and think of how many older artists younger kids know of?  Not that many or any at all.  Adults aren't dinosaurs, even though some of them do look like it!  I would have to say my closest coworkers were people who were at least 7+ years older than me, some were double or triple my age, yet I loved working with them and sometimes had more things in common with them than I did with coworkers around my age.

Age doesn't = conservative.  My grandmother is living proof of this.  She's very modern and open to the idea that sometimes people go through a few boyfriends or girlfriends before they find the right one to marry; whereas my dad equates too many boyfriends to that idea that you're a skank. Keep in mind, he didn't just come about this way of thinking when he became an adult, he believed this even as a kid.

You're mature.
Adults can be just as childish or even more juvenile than kids.  They are prone to pathetic and immature acts sometimes.  I whine like a kid to my boyfriend when I don't get my way. I still own and adore my stuffed animal collection. What can I say? I'm a stuffy lover.  Then there's my mom. When she gets mad at my siblings and I, she'll give us the silent treatment and refuse to talk to us even though we're trying to create a discussion to solve the problem.

So there you have it...isn't it amazing what I used to think adulthood would be like as a kid?

Is there anything else that can be added to this?  Do you have any of your own examples?  I'd love to hear what everyone else thinks.

Book: The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time

 "This will not be a funny book. I cannot tell jokes because I do not understand them." Christopher Boone

I got teary-eyed a few times reading this on the train, which I'm sure freaked out the stranger sitting next to me. The book I was reading, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by British author Mark Haddon is set in Swindon, Wiltshire and follows the life of the story's narrator, Christopher Boone, a 15-year-old who is gifted in math,yet autistic.  The story is written from a first-person perspective and the first chapter begins with Christopher finding his neighbor's dog, Wellington dead on the front yard.  He gets arrested by the police, who think he has committed the crime.  Though Christopher is eventually released, the death of Wellington causes Christopher to go on a search for the murderer.  It's a mystery he can't seem to let rest, much to the distress of his father.  However, the more Christopher discovers, the more problems he faces and the more the reader learns about Christopher's life. 

Some of the characters in the book:

Christopher Boone- 
Though Christopher has a knack for math problems, he lacks social skills and despises people touching him. He is also very naive and is curious about the world around him.  He loves to learn, but his learning is hindered by his quirks.  For example, he only eats certain kinds of food that are a specific color and the colors of the cars that pass by helps him to determine whether he is having a good or bad day.

I love this character and I think Haddon did a marvelous job of capturing a special needs kid.  It was an eye-opening experience to be able to feel and understand what life might be like for a boy who isn't "normal." I couldn't help but think about all the special needs students I used to work with.  They require a lot of patience, but there's something about them that makes you love and appreciate them for who they are. 

Ed Boone (Christopher's father)-
Ed runs his own business and has one employee working under him.  He is known as the patient one in the family because he knows how to talk and work with Christopher. However, his relationship with his son takes a hit when Christopher accidentally finds something he shouldn't have, which leads to an escalation of problems.

Even though Ed is not perfect, I like him.  He truly cares about Christopher and puts his son's needs over his.  I like how he is always concerned with making sure Christopher's food is prepared properly and knows what Christopher likes to watch on TV.   However, his main flaw is that he is unable to talk about his emotions, which causes him to end up hiding secrets rather than facing the truth.

Judy Boone (Christopher's mother)-
Judy is a dreamer and she wants more for her life.  She's a caring mother, who loves Christopher, but she's also impatient with him and has a hard time dealing with his social problems and other specific needs. 

I think Judy is a very confused person because she feels helpless at times and she admits this, as she knows Ed has a better relationship with Christopher.   Yet, at the same time, she's selfish because she doesn't want to deal with the reality of her situation.   

Mrs. Shears (Christopher's neighbor who's dog Wellington was killed.)-
Mrs. Shears helps out the Boone family when Judy is gone and is living by herself since her husband left her.  

I really don't like this character.  She knows Christopher has special needs, yet she acts like a maniac ready to accuse him of killing her dog.  I had the impression that she had never met Christopher prior to that interaction, but the novel explains that she has been at the Boone house before to help cook for the family.  She's just lousy in every sense of the word, no wonder her husband left her.  

Mr. Shears-
At the beginning of the book, Mr. Shears has already divorced Mrs. Shears, so he only shows up sparingly later in the story. From the little that is known, he seems to be very outspoken and has a hot temper.

I won't go into any details that will spoil the storyline, but I find Mr. Shears to be just as unlikable as his wife.  Definitely a match made in heaven. Also, similar to his wife, he does not treat Christopher kindly.

Mrs. Alexander (Christoper's elderly neighbor)- 
A sweet old lady who befriends Christopher during his search for Wellington's killer. Even though Mrs. Alexander is kind to Christopher, he still considers her a stranger.

I love how nonjudgmental Mrs. Alexander is towards Christopher, offering him snacks and trying to make conversation with him.  She plays a pivotal role in the story, accidentally sharing some secrets she shouldn't have to him. 

Siobhan (paraprofessional who works with Christopher at school)-    
Siobhan tutors Christopher in school and helps him to talk and write about his problems. She is the inspiration behind him writing this story.

I don't think parapros get enough respect for the work they do.  Many times, they are working with students in small groups and one-on-one, which helps them to foster a strong relationship with their student.  They know the kids sometimes even more than their parents.  I love it when Christopher thinks of going to see her at school when he runs away from home.  It shows how safe he feels around her.

Overall, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time is a heart-breaking book that will tug at your emotional strings, welding you to cry, feel sad, angry, and exhausted.  It's a simple story, but one with a unique narrator, who takes you along a journey that leaves you questioning your understanding of those who are considered different.  

Poem: My Friend

Photo Credit: The Middle Road

Watch out!

But you never did
I told you many times where this would lead
I guess you never heard my screams
Echoing through the walls
I even warned you when I grazed your shoulder
During those sleepless nights
But all you felt was the sudden chill in the air
And all you saw were the tree branches tapping against the window sill

Did I not whisper in your ear that He was coming?
Ahh, so it's true you never listened when I heeded you then
Too busy with your life
Too stuck in your modern ways

How long has it been since we last spoke?
Have you forgotten me already?
Have you not ever slowed down to wonder where I have been?

Those days of you and I alone all seem but a distant blur
You left and abandoned me, never to come back
I was alone, watching you but unable to communicate
Without those memories, I was no more
I was merely a shadow

You had dismissed me as a childish past
But now you know better

We were the best of friends
Sharing our secrets, laughing at life
But now we are but strangers
Such a shame don't you think?

Your daughter, I loved her too
Just as I did you
I thought we could start anew
With her, I became young again
Stronger than I had before
The memories of you and I clearer than ever

But it's all been taken away now
I warned you did I not?
And now my friend, all that remains here is you.

 *************

Halloween is fast approaching, so I decided to write a poem that suits the occasion.  One thing I like about blogging is that it challenges me to try new things and pushes me to write out my thoughts.  This is my third poem here, and I'm surprised I have gotten that far.  I might not know how to write poetry and I might not write the best poems, but I'm satisfied that I have at least attempted something that was once very foreign to me. 

Book: Live Wire

Harlan Coben is a writer of mystery and thriller novels who has had a few #1 New York Times bestsellers.  And yet, somehow I have never read any of his books until now. As an author, Coben has recently dabbled into young adult writing with his novel Shelter, even though he's mainly a writer for adult readers. Live Wire, the 10th book in the Myron Bolitar series is one example of his many adult books.  

Live Wire centers around  the character Myron Bolitar, who is the owner and agent of MB Reps, an agency which represents athletes, writers, and actors.  He's an understanding agent, one with a heart that is always looking at his clients best interests, such as Suzze T, a retired tennis star.  Suzze is pregnant with her first child with Lex, a member of a well-known rock group called Live Wire.  Because she is close to Myron, she wants him to be her child's godfather; yet she also wants Myron to find out who wrote "Not His" on her Facebook page and look for Lex (who has disappeared since the posting went live).  However, what seems to be a simple request turns into much more as Myron's search becomes more like an investigation, with new problems arising when he runs into his sister-in-law Kitty, who he has not seen for many years.  Her sudden appearance brings back a rush of negative emotions.  He wants to know why she has returned and where his younger brother is.  But those answers don't really come that easily when he realizes Kitty has some dark secrets she doesn't  want anyone to know about.

Live Wire is an easy read with a straight to the point plot that has twists and turns that keep the storyline moving.  Each new information learned is connected to a past discovery and somehow in the end, everything comes together.  My coworker used to tell me that was one of the reasons she loved reading Harlan Coben books.  "He keeps you guessing and he surprises you at the end," she once said.  I remember how her eyes used to light up as she talked about his books, a true fan I might add.

I haven't read other Harlen Coben books to judge, except a few pages of No One There, which seemed to be more interesting than Live Wire.  In fact, when I came upon other reviews for Live Wire, some readers mentioned that they felt the book was the weakest of the Myron Bolitar series.  Lucky reading for me right?

The plot in itself was decent, but I admit that it was hard for me to say I enjoyed it because I really couldn't relate to the 34+ year-old Myron, rock music, and drugs.  Everyone I know who reads Harlan Coben books are around my parents age or older, so maybe that's the reason why?  I sometimes felt Myron was actually older than he was portrayed to be, yet at other times I felt he was immature and sometimes flawed to the point of annoying.  I know his character likes to live in the past (e.g. He still holds onto his childhood home.), but the way he talks paints in my mind a pathetic man. 

Some examples:

Pg. 6  "Seventeen, whatever."

Pg. 23 "Why? Am I too chunky?  By the way, seriously, do these jeans make my ass look big.  You can tell me."  -- From a scene in which Myron is trying to get into a club to look for Lex.

Moreover, the sexual nature in which Myron describes women he finds attractive also made me feel as though this book was more meant for guys with raging hormones than a female reader.  The most pathetic part was Myron's buddy Win, who has two lovely Asian lady "friends" who happen to have the names Mee and Yu.  Some jokes are made in reference to this to add humor to the story, but somehow it just felt flat and insensitive to me.  Did this book seriously come out in 2011?

Finally, the biggest issue I have with Live Wire is that problems that occur in the story are solved in an effortless manner. From Myron's cell phone that has special features which ensures that Win will always be there to save him from harm, to the fact that Win is insanely rich and seemingly powerful enough to fix EVERYTHING.  Perhaps I should have viewed this book simply as a fun read, but there were issues I had with it that made it less than thrilling for me, and I couldn't overlook the flaws that kept reappearing time and again.